My night on the town was over by 9pm. I'm either getting older or smarter.
Additionally, TECHNO SUCKS as do agro-Nico-wannabe-circa 1999-fratboys. Last night I experienced a ten year timequake filled with intentionally misspelled "ABERCOMBIE", "HOLISTAR", "and AEROPOSTLE" nonsense.
Bad vibes and harsh utterances bounced off the gringo at makeshift discotecas on the beach... if I stayed out too late or got too drunk my ass would have kicked and/or robbed. The whole capital city converges on tiny San Juan Del Sur during Semana Santa for three days of non-stop fiesta.
. Liberally applied hair gels... stylin' knockoff sunglasses... muffintops (and much worse) in teeny bikinis... tricked out whips. It's like the muthafucking Fast and the Furious here. Apparently I've got much further to sail in escaping the U$A (pronounced Ooooooosa).
Additionally, I called it a night because MAESTRA was feasting on way too much garbage, a cost-cutting behavior normally encouraged but not while she's recovering from a stomach parasite.
Semana Santa is streetdog heaven... greasy napkins flutter down trash strewn alleyways... whole plates of food are chucked earthward with flourish by dancing drunks... spilled cocktails, caloric excess, and deafening beats have got all the pooches riled up... I had to reinstitute the leash.
On to the point of the post...
This morning I awoke to find the dog's eyes crusted shut with dried pus... and she'd developed a whooping couch. At sunrise, discotecas winding down, thousands on the beach, and hundreds already swimming in the filthy water, the pooch and I set off in search of the VETERINARIO.
Who the fuck goes swimming at dawn after partying all night? Well, for us gringos, maybe "that" friend... the consistently craziest... but here... well... 30% of the population. That, my friends, is life lived with a reckless flourish.
You want entertainment? Try to find a Fiesta-Driven Nico's Blog... my shit is boring.
So we're walking the streets... stepping over folks dozing where they dropped... old men loading donkey carts and wheelbarrows with stanky trash... dodging vehicles of all sorts going way too fast... every other parked car has folks sleeping in it... one old jeep had four chubby, greased up ABERCOMBIE fratties passed out, strangely, with their seat belts on... classic.
After half an hour of searching I asked the right person where the VETERINARIO's office is... I'd been zeroing in... and it turned out he was right next door. No sign.
So I wake the VET up at 7am on Semana Santa Sabado... the dog is that sick. He comes to the door slipping a shirt on... completes his wardrobe with a "Quiksiver" baseball cap. Not a surfer. The courtyard is full of parrots and fancy chickens. The dog is too sick to chase anything... something is very wrong.
Ten minutes later, we're back on our way. Maestra has gotten two shots, eye drops, and a hearty squirt of FRONTLINE flea and tick medicine. I've been assured that everything will be fine.
The vet didn't even expect me to pay... (do I look that broke?)... but when I insisted he threw out the figure $10.
I gladly fork it over and everyone is stoked. Strolling off to a $2 breakfast, I gigglingly recall the time I needed a tetanus shot in Argentine Patagonia... ten minutes after entering the clinic and $0 poorer I was back on my way, assuredly immune to LOCKJAW.
BEAUTIFUL.
It's amazing how efficiently such inefficient countries can meet the health needs of the populous... especially when you consider what a BUTTFUCKING health care in the Ooooosa is.
Ridiculously expensive healthcare is a cog in the most complicated machine of societal control in world history.... as everyone knows.
I'll be posting quite a bit today... the dog needs her rest and I've got shit to say.
MAX