This little trip down memory lane has been doing the trick...
jarring me out of my funk...
showing me my current drama isn't so bad...
reminding me that life is good...
gratitude, essential.
Here's an oldie but a goodie. I may as well start at a beginning.
After graduating from college I stuck around Minnesota's SJU for a 5th year to knock off medical prerequisites and study for the MCAT. I was also working full time as a nurse's assistant in the St. John's Abbey Retirement Center. Here I realized I don't have the compassion to be a good health care provider. I made a lot of beds, cleaned up a lot of shit, and fucked up my lower back royally.
I also fucked up my peace of mind by aquiring perpetual "double secret probation" with Dean Laker, a douchebag administrator who sought a high profile dipshit to make an example of. I proved myself a high profile dipshit in the first week of the school year and remained on the verge of expulsion until April 28th, the day after my birthday, 2004.
I also fucked up my social life by falling for a beautiful young lady whom a fair weather friend had staked a claim on. Accusations flew. Factions assembled. "Minnesota Nice" showed it's passive-aggressive fangs. I went from being a Big Man On Campus to a paranoid outcast banished to a frigid shack aptly named the CRACKHOUSE.
No, I didn't smoke crack. I did, however, drink a hell of a lot of Miller High Life.
Many a lonely night I ended up talking to the girl on the moon.
Long story short...
I shouldn't have been there, but I'm slow, so I was, and I learned a lot.
I did two things remotely redeeming that year.
1) I helped out a friend in serious need.
2) I bought a 15 passenger van from a bunch of Nuns for twenty two hundred dollars.
$2200.
Side note: I don't know why, since I'll never own a car again, but I take an obscene amount of pride in having never spent more than $3000 on a car.
Yeah, I bought a van. I had hopes of gutting it into a ghetto-fabulous-molester Camper complete with christmas lights and a blender. A fucking blender was a must.
The Naughty Van was born. It lived only a few months until it got rolled. We weren't partying. I had just skied a 24 hour nordic ski race with my Dad and took a nap.
Long story short, in that van's short life it made some trips and on those trips some memories were made. One day, with a bunch of hung over second string cross country runners aboard, it made real magic and the following list was born.
I read all the way through it today but recommend you just skim.
Some Good Things Are…
*A List Compiled by the Occupants of the Naughty Van during the Surprisingly Pleasant Return Trip from the District XC Meet in Grinnell, Iowa on November 16, in the year of our Lord, 2003*
*Scribed by Sarah Litchy, Ashley Bean, and at least one other girl with really good handwriting*
*Digitized through the intense labors of Max Mogren*
…when time goes slow, long talks, getting in trouble and not caring, procrastinating, the Breakfast Club, purposefulness, hot chocolate with Baileys, scratching an itch, hugs, snuggling, new snow men, snowball fights, snow forts, ice skating, new socks, road trips, teddy bears, naps, long runs, Canada, tacos, hot showers, salsa, baths, pizza, kisses, camp fires, s’mores, first beer in a case, indoor fires, Sunday Reef brunch, Christmas cartoons, memories, BIGFOOT, Johnny CC hats, music, dancing, beer, free things, rum and Coke, old bikes, warm beds, spooning, e-mails from girls, mail, grade school, creativity, 8 feet of snow, fresh snowfall, seeing an old friend, IMing, clean sheets, ocean beaches, jumping into cold water, girls, guys, Jaimey Remey, end of a hard race, bell lap, fall, winter, summer, spring, falling dreams, midnight, finishing a paper, getting an A on a paper, watching people sleep, fat babies, when babies or dogs like you, turkey drumsticks, sex ed, skinny dipping, brushing your teeth, good movies with friends, skiing, water skiing, tipping a canoe, catching a fish, reading a good book, when the priest says “The Mass Has Ended” and you reply “Thanks be go God!”, footsie with Sarah Litchey, golf carts, a date, new car smell, gasoline, home, good home smell, Christmas music, the scent of pine, Tampico, Tang, milk, cereal, water after a run, not eating too much, skipping class, goofy grins, laughing, cookie dough, hiccups, a good cry, baseball caps, clean underwear, your favorite pair of jeans, sleeping nude, old people, seeing through systems, flirting, snow days, comfy chairs, new school clothes, new running shoes, wrestling with dogs, good CDs, cheeseburgers, blueberry milkshakes, stars, the moon reflecting on the water, roommates, meeting interesting people, the WARPIG, the NAUGHTY VAN, finding someone with one degree of separation, haunted houses, themed parties, CC parties, scary movies, green lights, spitting, running through sprinklers on a run, camping, sleepovers, snuggle buddies, mass e-mails, Bo Diddley’s, the Reef, Jason Stoffel, weddings, water colors, crayons, art, painting, Bingo, chess, dancing with Grandma, climbing, traveling, baking, cooking with Grandma, sailing, flying, sand boxes, living with friends, sand castles, A1 sauce, seasoned salt, salt, singing, walking in the woods, the colors of leaves, firecrackers, fireworks, parades, going grocery shopping, wind at your back, asking rhetorical questions, having class cancelled, comics, classes with no final, rolling down hill, talent shows, school assemblies, streaking, riding bikes, playing tennis when you don’t know how to play tennis, sitting in the sun, basketball, late night talks with your roomie, finding $ you didn’t know you had, inside jokes, cookies from Grandma, nicknames, playing with clay/playdough, wrestling, getting punched in the face when it doesn’t hurt, seeing someone get kicked in the crotch/slip and fall/etc, farting, giving a good gift, languages, expressing yourself, getting something off your chest, making out, making out for a LONG TIME, making out in a random place, phone calls from girls, getting a good haircut, long hair, pretty hair, soft & shiny hair, wind blown hair, freshly showered boys, comforting touch, jello jigglers, jello shots, whacking your friend in the nuts, showering in the Palaestra, 1st time getting drunk, 1st time getting stoned, Miller High Life Lite, cold 7UP the morning after drinking, falling down and just laying there, messing around at the movie theater, holding hands until they’re sweaty, crushes, old cemeteries, castles, exploring old buildings, doing random things, Ferris wheels, carousels, watching animals have sex, cooking over a fire, climbing into your sleeping bag, when a dog humps someone else’s leg, Christmas lights, the EVIL TREE, street dances, dancing dirty, painting your room, hanging a poster, pull ups, being young, driving, not caring about money, heartache’s existence (though not when it hits you), nostalgia, stories, old school Nintendo (aka No-Friend-O), knowing people are listening, tents, free books, the feeling you get while reading the last page of a good book, peeing after going for a really long time, releases in general, power outages, free digital music services, MP3s, cloud watching, thunderstorms, maple long johns, meteor showers, playing in the rain, full moons, obstacle courses, sleeping on pole vault pits, being amazed, winning a race, beating guys in a race, crying, considerate people, good waitresses/waiters, when people are excited to see you, home, big families, dryer sheets, having a good smelling room, ice fishing, sledding at night, Bozeman Montana, Glacier NP, mountains, redwoods, old oak trees, willow trees, throwing rocks at moving trains and stuff that breaks, waking up to a day when you don’t have to do anything, dreaming, waking up and not knowing where you are, apologizing, good quotes, reception sandwiches, champagne, French, cheese and baguettes, crispy apples, dinosaurs, Granny Smith apples, Kenny G, Yanni, caramel apples, drinking in a moving vehicle, yawning, freshman year, steamrolling, moving water, stretching, getting dressed up, old T shirts, flip flops, sweatpants, roughing it, canoeing, hiding your boner in middle school (and whenever), camping, vibration, Bobby Darin, Bobby Dylan, going home, getting your 1st pocket knife, lighting a match, the smell of cut grass, the city at night, jumping, organized crime, being in the newspaper for something good, practical jokes, taking off sweaty clothes, thrift shops, having people sign your cast, carving your name somewhere, getting your cast off, care packages, seeing someone singing in another car, rocking out in your car, cheerful nuns, teams, winning, clubs, bullshitting, bowling, ping pong, flamingos, taking pictures of passed out people, writing on passed out people, swinging, volunteering, waking up with your girlfriend, sleeping with girls, nature documentaries, Disney songs, oldies, dancing in random places, streaking, college basketball games, dodge ball, 409, rushing the field, voting, tearing down a goal post, the first time for everything, meeting someone new, stripes, Red Bull, caffeine, cowboy shirts, naked babies, watching a birth, secrets, teaching kids, white lies, watching cousins grow up, winning the lottery, the sight of Max spraining his ankle, liberal priests, singing at mass, change, weird coins, planning a trip, floating on something, passing an eye exam, siblings, Stevie Wonder, jazz, Halloween, when bad things happen to bad people, when two people are a perfect match, no parents, parents, tree houses, forts, climbing trees, snowboarding, wearing shoes without socks, drum solos, guitar solos, hand gestures, being voted something, being liked, sharing, realizing you’re fun, getting out of a traffic ticket, driving really fast, the zoo, blizzards, museums, Bill Clinton’s cigar incident, living in the USA, being lucky, having choices, not wearing a bra, random cafes, airdrying, clearing your sinuses, good luck notes, cheese, peanut butter, stretching, nutella, ants on a log, cuss words, sayings that don’t make sense, Minnesota accents, accents, drinking with your parents, caves, snorkeling, diving off a boat, bellyflop contests, cow tipping, male posturing (ie, guys trying to one up one another), cliffs, not having a cell phone, having a cell phone when you need one, getting lost, getting out of the car, waking up early and being productive, flying a kite, huge fires, throwing things in the fire, ghost stories, fish, kissing your mom, hugging your dad, walking out of the classroom after acing your last final, going home for Christmas, getting accepted at colleges, scholarships, the feeling of having a whole summer ahead of you, personalities, mannerisms, people watching, mini donuts, lakes, road races, scary stories, clean windshields, scary movies, fun hats, wigs, novelty socks, stealing worthless crap, pumping gas, guys grabbing their crotches whilst dancing, air conditioning, being satisfied with a race, heated floors, being sore after a race, hot tubs, holding hands, whipped cream, food fights, playing with food, playing with fire, water fights, the 4th of July, shivers from the National Anthem, Mt. Dew, reading Cosmo, guys taking Cosmo quizzes, sneaking boys into your dorm, COLLEGE, BBQs, tailgating, Paul Simon, the Black Crowes, taxis, winning something silly, theater, skipping stones, waterfalls, showering in waterfalls, Duluth, Grandma’s Marathon parties, the BRETT jacket, mysteries, good coaches, squirrels, Tim Miles, working for Tim, manual labor, knight movies, fairy tales, good soundtracks, mixed CDs, Pacman, the 80s, Duck Hunt, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the Cosby Show, puddles, Full House, loud music, good speakers, Johnny Cash, pretty girls, puppies, the Beatles, the Chronicles of Narnia, Harry Potter, the Lord of the Rings, skits, the Big Friendly Giant, tickling, getting tickled, soap in the fountain, apple orchards, tunneling at SJU, BB gun fights, bumper stickers, warm blankets, riding horses, Dr. Suess, cute black children, the Eiffel Tower, Love Story, mythology, urban legends, jumping in a leaf pile, new contacts, VW Beetles, fog, losing your voice, traditions, ritual, De Ja Vu, waking around the house naked, well water, rope bridges, spontaneity, running through a cornfield, getting muddy, mud fights, exceeding expectations, proud parents, sleeping on a futon, sleeping in the cold, seeing your breath, fogging up a window and drawing on it, lipstick on girls, lipstick on guys’ faces, ear rings, toe rings, anklets, the hula dance, hula hoops, the limbo, skip it, jump roping, pogo sticks, pogo balls, monkey bars, pretending, slides, tire swings, 8 track tapes, falling asleep in class, watching someone else fall asleep in class (ie, the head nod), having someone play with your hair, making noise, feeling like you belong, when your boyfriend’s parents like you, Christmas stockings, backpacks, Oreos and milk, milk break, road signs, the Blues, flags, Slip n’ Slide, Adam Sandler, jet skiing, car chalk, sidewalk chalk, hop scotch, chapstick, TPing houses, forking lawns, petty vandalism in general, mashed potatoes and gravy, duck duck greyduck, decorating cookies, hip hop, disco, hitting a baseball (specifically the crack of the bat), finding a good stick, sprinklers under trampolines, taking a big shit, not having to wipe (the first one is clean), peeing in the woods, being tan, feeling healthy, feeling sexy, popping zits, cabins, ski trips, riding the chairlift, hot springs, smelling lilacs, wildflowers, driving around, finding edible mushrooms, riding your bike really fast, big weird poisonous mushrooms, coed group showers, flooding the locker room, big fluffy towels, scrap books, getting pictures back, taking pictures, Disney World, playing in waves, taking baths with siblings when little, Valentine’s Day, Pinestock, the Stella Maris Chapel, Walmart Supercenters (especially when burning), Target, fixing bikes, Christmas shopping, decorating your Christmas tree, presents under the tree, barbershops, driving the NAUGHTY VAN in a ski mask, merry-go-rounds, jumping off swings, “Money” by Strong Barrett, blue Christmas lights, outdoor cafes, getting snowed in, blowing bubbles, homemade mittens and scarves, kazoos, Turtle Fur, Drifit, sunshine, tubing on a river, blues guitar, big trucks, motorcycles, candy canes, Hawaiian shirts, carving pumpkins, RVs, picking out a Christmas tree, bag lunches, picnics, long underwear, gymnastics, getting a sticker on your tests, Max dancing, coming home to a clean house, feather cushions/beds, chocolate orgasms at the Reef, candlelight, scavenger hunts, listening to music, watching monkeys, getting pruny in the bath, ice bathing, night swimming, catching tadpoles/frogs/crayfish, spitting watermelon seeds, sticky popcorn, the trails at SJU, Hobbit Hole, Lake Sag, THE PIT, Loso’s, friends, Discovery Health Channel, popping bubble wrap, crossing a state border, opening presents, wrapping presents, playing fetch, rocking chairs, good smelling lotion, sneaking out, candy stores, the bakery smell, warm sheets from the dryer, leftover macaroni, anticipation, tunafish sandwiches, egg salad sandwiches, dad making breakfast, down pillows/sleeping bags, aviator glasses (preferably with mirror lense), Hypercolor shirts, ass massages, arm wrestling, cocktail parties, chickenfights, Icees, thumb wars, cribbage, drinking games, Katsuaki Nishiki, dressing up as Santa, Christmas caroling, roasting marshmallows, wildberry TUMS, Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream, video cameras, the moon landing, maps, writing on someone’s back with your finger and having them guess what you wrote, learning new things, PEZ, Reese’s Pieces, sporting goods stores, fabric stores, the candy aisle, sunsets, sun rises, tackling people in the snow, ejaculation, ambiance, big boobs, nice physiques, nice eyes, custard filled donuts, Chipotle, hippies, bell bottoms, glow in the dark stuff, flavored body lotions, chocolate syrup, grenadine, maraschino cherries, rolling your pantlegs up, cosmic bowling, the Mississippi River, jumping on the bed, hammocks, Winnipeg, nursery rhymes, caves, cave mud, UFOs, kegs, reality TV, electricity, the O.C., flushing toilets, spandex, clothes that fit perfectly, Carhart overalls, 40z, old men on bikes, cultural fusion dances, luaus, cross country skis, Rhode Purple, someone else waxing your skis for you, fjords, Superbowl commercials, the Superbowl halftime show, cruise ships, ceiling fans, throwing stuff in fans, bay windows, kneeing a guy in the balls, study breaks, getting it on in a car, pregnant 4th graders, DQ Blizzards, Chris Farley, booths at restaurants, fish bowls of beer, songs with your name in them, indoor tracks, rubberized tracks, demolition derbies, county fairs, the State fair, Cher, Papasan chairs, cordless vacuums, cordless phones, throwing a pie, pie eating contests, taking it easy, climbing water/radio towers, pointing out phallic imagery, neck massages, moaning girls, providing intense pleasure to someone, finding the perfect shirt at Savers, getting a truck to honk, getting a barge to honk, Rollerblade tag, Rollerblade basketball, jumping out of a moving boat, Uptown, downtown at Christmas, main street, coffee shops, dictionaries, churros, college profs that buy students beer, root beer floats, Madonna, Eskimo kisses, siblings, butterfly kisses, Winnie the Pooh, honey, jumping on the bed, drive-in movies, Twins games, horseracing, Smurfs, one-on-one basketball, pillow fights, PJs, frozen confections, Cadbury crΓ¨me eggs, peeps, Easter egg hunts, dying Easter eggs, Sasquatch, Rainbows, Moon/Sun Dogs, slow dancing, Red Rover, teepees, old movie theaters, Turkish Apricots, running up the down escalator, ET, total enlightenment, letter jackets, wax lips/teeth, hemorrhoid crΓ¨me, lunar freak outs, shit breaks, Dr. “My-Shit-Is-Bloody”, “Fly”, orange pop, cherry koolaid, hard liquor lamps, “Hey Ya”, “The Volume Fairy”, 4 wheeling, flowers, poo poo poo, and so on ad infinitum.
